The Truth of Their Story - Telling Our Girls Their Story

Our First Family Photo

When my boys were little, they used to love hearing the story of the day they were born, coming home from the hospital, etc. I told that story over and over and over, but they never tired of it. (Well, eventually they tired of it because they discovered Nintendo and sports and other things in life more interesting than the story of their birth! But you know what I mean.) 

I digress. 

I have struggled to tell the girls their story, so I have avoided their story. I know it's the wrong choice, I've just really struggled with what I would say. 

THE TRUTH OF THEIR STORY

Their story isn't pretty. 

How they came to us isn't pretty. 

The day they came to our house isn't lovely and filled with sweet sentiments. 

But they deserve a story they'll want to hear over and over and over. So I've been working on it.

THEIR COMING HOME STORY

"When you girls were born, you were teeny tiny. You only weighed two pounds, which is not very big at all. You were so tiny they put you in a very special baby bed that helped you breathe and get healthy.

But you did get healthy. And you got bigger too! 

I will never forget the first day you came home to us. It was nighttime, and when I first saw you both, I couldn't get over how little you were! (I didn't know then that you had been a teeny tiny baby when you were born, but I found that out later and was so glad you were growing and growing. But I was kind of glad you were still little girls.)


On our way home with you girls, Shannay, you sneaked out of your car seat and scared me by touching my shoulder! I had to pull the car over and get you buckled back in. (Parent fail) 

You girls both fell asleep on the way home, so we just put you in bed in the little dresses you were wearing, because we didn't want to wake you up.

It was a very sweet moment for us. Daddy and I both cried as we looked at you lying in your cribs. 

The next morning, we gave you baths, which you weren't too sure you liked. (Don't know how we got a smiling picture out of you Shannay, because you girls barely moved!)

But you LOVED towel time, where we wrapped you in your towels and just let you sit there. 

What fun memories we have of you girls and your towel time!

Then you got to meet your big brothers.  They loved you instantly, just like Daddy and I did.

And we went to the park to celebrate being a family. (That's also when we learned how fast Nikki was at running away!)

God creates families in many different and special ways. We have loved you and thanked God for making us a family ever since the first day we got you."

IT *IS* A GOOD STORY

So, what do you think?  I guess their story is a beautiful story. I'm going to try it out today!

People Stare But They Don't Stop There

Our family looks different than most families. 

I get that.  For any number of reasons we are stare-worthy.

Seriously.

I totally get that.

First off, the girls are twins.  People stare at twins.  All twins.  Not just my twins.

Secondly, we are old, and the twins are young.  People are trying to do the math.  They are perplexed.  So they stare. 

Thirdly, we are white and they are black. 

So people stare.  The staring isn't so bad anymore (though in the beginning it really bugged me!)

Some things perplex me though.

Here is a real life exchange that just happened last week:

Woman: "Oh they're cute.  Are they adopted?"

Me:  "Yes Ma'am and thank you."

Woman:  "Where are they from?"

Me: "Houston."

Woman:  "No I mean where are the "from"?" (she actually made air quotes)

Me: "Houston."

Woman:  "No,  I mean like where is their mother land?"  (not even kidding)

Me:  "Texas?"

Woman:  "No, like are they from Africa, or Ethiopia, or Haiti?"

Me:  "Nope, they're from Houston."

Woman:  "oh." (shrugs shoulders, smiles at me like I just don't understand her question, walks away)

I'm often amazed at the things people say to me.  And sometimes the comments are hysterical (like the lady that told me the girls looked a lot like Zahara . . . Pitt . . . seriously.)

Anyway, I think the thing that perplexes me the most is that in these days and times that our family would be an oddity. 

I'm surprised by that I guess. 

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So come on, I've got to know, what is the craziest thing anyone has said to you about your colorful family?

The Vibrant Color of Family

Our journey to becoming a transracial family is an unusual one.

We were empty nesters. Our grown children had finally, just recently moved out, leaving us to celebrate our parental independence! 

(This picture is of us, celebrating our parental independence in the mountains of Colorado! Don't we look happy? And younger? And rested?) 

Ah, those were the days. We spent our free time dreaming of ways we would spend our free time. The empty nest years had arrived and retirement was just around the corner. Old enough to have raised two kids and still young enough to have sex in every room of the house enjoy life.

I was out with a group of girlfriends one night, when I ran into a woman I know who helps rescue children from the streets. As I often asked when I ran into her, I said, "So, who are you rescuing tonight?" She said, "Twin, 19-month-old girls. You interested?" I'm sure my laugh was somewhere between incredulous and nervous, but I laughed and said, "No way! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's not a train. It's freedom!" She laughed too, and we went our separate ways.

Fast forward this story 11 days and these little girls were in our home.

To say that they were in rough shape would be a tremendous understatement.  Their hair and skin were literally falling off due to malnutrition, and their emotional state was worse than that.  I won't disclose the many types of abuse they suffered at the hands of family members and caretakers, but just let your mind wander and you will likely encounter the abuse they endured.

But I don't want to focus on the darkness of those days, at least not today, on this inaugural post of What Color is Family. 

You see, God has a plan for each of our lives.  And no matter what we think the written summary of our lives will be, He has a much richer version of the story to tell.

Our family is so much fun to be around!
Someone is always being goofy, and someone is always corralling the girls!

Transracial adoption is our rich story. It is woven together with a vibrancy of color that only our Creator could imagine. I look forward to sharing our journey with you and to hearing your rich stories as well.  There is much to learn and much to be shared with each other. 


Leave me a comment below and tell me about your transracial family.  Better yet, join me on facebook and post a picture of your beautiful family!

Carol

Happy Launch Day!

UPDATE: AND THE WINNER IS . . . JULIE BEANE!

It's Launch Day at ThatCarolJones.com and that is so full of awesome goodness I can't stand it! This day has been in the works for months and it's finally here!

I hope you'll take the time to click the links to my other blogs and visit each one today.  There are special giveaways on each blog, and I know you won't want to miss out on all the greatness you'll find there!

Normally on this blog you'll find "What Color is Family?" It will include our adoption story as well as amazing stories from other families I have met on this journey. You'll also find  great resources, tips, advice, pretty much everything amazing and related to transracial adoption.

​But today is a day of celebration so I'm just celebrating and giving stuff away!

On "What Color is Family?" I'm giving away a family fun package!  It includes breakfast at IHOP, a Movie Pass to Cinemark for 4, and cupcakes from Gigi's!

If you want to be entered to win this fun package, all you have to do is follow this blog, leave me a comment, and then pretty please with sugar on top tweet, post and pin this blog so others will find out about its goodness and follow me too!

Happy Launch Day! And thanks for stopping by!
(And Zack Jones, thank you for your tireless work to make this happen!)