We Can Do Better

It's 2013, in case you didn't know, and I'm here to report that racism is alive and well.

And sadly, I'm shocked by that.  I'm sure I shouldn't be shocked, but I am.

This past weekend, I had the privilege of performing a wedding in the beautiful hill country of Texas, Fredericksburg to be exact. And my story should not be taken to be the pervasive behavior of the entire town.  It was most certainly an isolated experience.

On Saturday morning, Mike and the girls and I slept in and then headed out for a late breakfast.  Considering Fredericksburg is a tourist town, famous for wineries and quaint little bed and breakfasts, we thought we'd find us a cute little local restaurant to enjoy.  Apparently though every OTHER tourist in town had the exact same plan because all the little local restaurants were packed.

Had it been just the two of us, we probably would have just waited, but the girls were hungry and getting grouchy, so we decided to go to a Denny's that I had remembered passing the night before.

When we got there, we were seated right away in the back of the restaurant.  Another couple, without children, were seated at the same time.

Their order was taken right away, and before our order was ever even taken they received their food.  Finally we were waited on, but then we continued to wait for what seemed like an eternity with two hungry and active preschoolers!

Eventually I had to flag down another employee and ask about our meal.  She asked who our waiter was, then rolled her eyes and headed off to check on our food.  Within moments our food arrived, all except for mine, which was completely wrong, and had to be returned.  

Our waiter never returned to our table.  Not once.  A manager, seeing me staring around the dining room, stopped by our table to see what was wrong.  When I explained that I still had not gotten my food and that Mike was still missing part of his food, he asked who our waiter was.  When I pointed out who he was, the manager shook his head, then quickly returned with my food.

It was not until the very end of our breakfast did our waiter return.  No apology.  No "Sorry I never refilled your coffee or checked on your order."  Nope.  Just a bill.

As we left the restaurant, I asked Mike to take the girls to the car so I could discuss our bill and our service with the manager.  There were two women at the cash register, an Assistant Manager and the Cashier.  The Assistant Manager asked who our server was, exchanged a glance with the Cashier, then took my breakfast off our bill and apologized for the inconvenience.

I told the Cashier, "I know this will sound weird, but I seriously got the impression that he didn't want to wait on us because our daughters are black.  I'm sure that's not the case, and I'm not really one to jump to the "race card" but it really, actually felt that way."

She said, "It's not weird, and I'm sure that's exactly what happened. He just got back from suspension for the exact thing.  He has race issues."

I. Was. Shocked.

I held back my tears, really not wanting to believe that crap like that still exists. When I got to the car and told Mike what happened, we both just sat there in stunned silence. I looked in the back seat at my two daughters and couldn't decide whether to cry, go back in and ninja chop the guy in the face, or just drive away.

When I shared my experience with a friend, here's what she said, (I told her I was going to quote her because her words summed up my feelings.) 

"Racism is a waste of time and energy. It also shows a person's heart. "I'm not going to serve someone because they are black." Yeah, way to love your fellow man, and to do that to little girls is just stupid."

In the past few days, I've gone from hurt, to mad, to just plain shocked.  Seriously, people.  We can do better. We can do better.